Just like any movie-goer, I grow tired of IP that’s rebooted several times over. But in certain cases, I’m fascinated by the attempts that exist between the often-beloved originals (say, Spiderman’s Tobey Era) and the most current takes (Tom). Will we one day look back and realize Andrew Garfield was the most underappreciated Spidey? Not likely, but his run did have bright spots—like the gorgeous opening to The Amazing Spider-Man 2—that will eventually be entirely blotted out in the broader nerd consciousness by the undeniable Hollandays.
Identifying a true “middle child” rendition is difficult in the superhero genre, though: Spider-Man, Batman, et al., are headed for ongoing, Bond-like lifecycles. For decades, they’ll rotate folks in and out of costumes, their silhouettes staying mostly the same. Horror has a similar trajectory. Halloween’s been redone so many times, I don’t even remember which one friends have told me is “the only one you really need to watch.” Over in sci-fi, there’s a franchise with a defined middle child that I’ve been reflecting on this week, in particular: the 2001 Planet of the Apes film, a failed shot at reigniting 20th Century Fox’s Simian Stock.
Now, when I first saw it in the theaters as an incoming high school sophomore, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. The critical community made up my mind for me, though: Afterward, I let the likes of Rolling Stone's Peter Travers, a guy who later raved about Jack Reacher, to convince me that the new Apes stunk.
(I wouldn’t discover better criticism, writers not begging to be blurbed, for another few years. A current fave is A. S. Hamrah, who released the stunning collection The Earth Dies Streaming a couple years ago.)
I quickly turned on Planet of the Apes with everyone else and was deeply upset that I had purchased a mug modeled after Michael Clarke Duncan’s character, Attar, the month prior at an On Cue store. (Yes; I really did that: I thought the movie was a sure thing.)
This week, I felt compelled to re-litigate my animosity toward the Apes reboot. For most, it was already forgotten before the arrival of the most recent (and fantastic) trilogy, helmed by Rupert Wyatt and Matt Reeves, respectively. But I wondered if perhaps we have been too harsh on Tim Burton’s vision for the IP.
After rewatching the film this week, my verdict: We weren’t. It stinks. Travers was right.
Despite that, I was inspired to learn more about this goofy mess, so I conducted some capital-I Important research during the hours after my daughters’ bedtime this week to bring you this newsletter. I now present this: 6 Weird-as-Hell Things About That 2001 Planet of the Apes Movie. As with many of my reflections in Power Action!, I am as much concerned with the film’s merchandising and marketing as I am with the narrative itself. Case in point, No. 1 here:
To promote the film, a few apes made an appearance on WWE Raw. The most unrealistic part? The way that JR muscles a marketing one-sheet into his bewildered commentary: "... I know that Planet of the Apes is the No. 1 action-adventure movie of the summer, and it's a great film if you haven't seen it, but … ” (Full video here.)
I remember thinking there was something off about the helmet worn by one of the ape policemen in the final scene during my first viewing. That feeling came rushing back during this watch. Turns out, upon digging, it was a prop from the 1997 Starship Troopers film painted black and given a visor. It's a bit ill-fitting when you see it in motion, too, which is fantastic.
Mark Wahlberg was so pumped about this movie that he dropped out of another IP reboot to do this. He was originally going to play Matt Damon's role in Ocean's 11. This is one of Hollywood’s least tragic what-ifs, though, as Wahlberg would have his revenge at the end of The Departed five years later.
I'm obsessed with this paragraph on the back of the film's action figure packaging: “Imagine a world where evolution has gone haywire. Imagine a place where humans cower in tribal chaos, fearing enslavement and extinction. Imagine a horde of massive, talking apes who rule with horrific brutality. Now, imagine you're no longer imagining. You're on the Planet of the Apes.” I do believe imagining that I’m not imagining something would put me in a dissociative state from which I couldn’t return.
There was a video game tie-in for the film, but it was received even worse and for some reason, was based more on the original novel and movie. That's partly because French developer Visiware began working on it while the film was on hold and exchanging hands between creative teams. It ended up actually missing the release of the film, too, by two months. (GameSpot called it an "ugly, boring Tomb Raider clone.") Either way, I imagine it would be strange to be a fan of the movie, pick up this up for your PS1 a couple months later, and then find yesterday’s story being told.
People are still confused by that 2001 ending, by the way. Folks behind the film have given their opinion about it over the years, though it was closer to the original novel:
"I cannot explain that ending. I have seen it twice and I don't understand anything."—Tim Roth
"I thought it made sense, kind of. I don't understand why everyone went, 'Huh?' It's all a time warp thing. He's gone back and he realizes Thade's beat him there."—Helena Bonham Carter
"It was a reasonable cliffhanger that could be used in case 20th Century Fox, or another filmmaker wanted to do another movie."—Tim Burton, who maintained that it was never supposed to make sense in the first place
I’d say, in that regard, Timmy B. hit it right on the mark.