MICRO-OBSESSION OF THE WEEK
THERE ARE CURRENTLY 19,041 eBay listings for “action figure accessories.” A remarkable amount of those listings are just loose weapons and objects that once belonged to packaged figures. They range from a spare missile for G.I. Joe character Fast Draw ($1.29) to a cache of 60-something vintage Star Wars weapons ($1,400).
I’ve developed a new fascination with toys of the former’s era. That’s probably because I’ve been reading The Toys of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (Dark Horse Publishing), a massive hardcover that goes way deep on every He-Man figure, vehicle, and playset ever released. I’m not a huge He-Fan, but I love that a near-academic study of the franchise’s bizarre heyday exists. And how else would I have learned that Snake Face’s original name was Medusa Man?
The book’s thoroughness—including fun trivia about the ’80s creatives behind the figures (RIP Mark Taylor) and inside bits on reused molds between characters—sparked a couple questions: Which toy accessories do I remember most vividly and wistfully from childhood? And which ones are currently available on eBay?
I’m happy to report I’ve found three essentials:
Undercover Donatello's mask (TMNT, 1990), a sibling of “Groucho glasses”:
Sheriff of Nottingham's cape (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, 1991), a mesh masterpiece fit for Peak Rickman:
Man, everything got a toyline in the early ’90s. As this wonderful Reddit thread points out, Kenner was creative with its reuse of molds, just like Mattel with He-Man.
3. Weapon X’s helmet (Uncanny X-Men, 1992):
Today, we have a burgeoning industry in custom action figures via 3D-printing companies like doob. As you might expect, there are also folks who make accessories that will fit toys at different scales. Instead of wielding the weapons of war, your 12-inch Guile could be ripping down rebounds or go on a tiny little bender via the custom toymaker Giantoy.
Or, if Guile needs to subscribe to this newsletter, Amazon has your back:
Thanks for reading, folks.
ELSEWHERE IN GEEKDOM:
User tetsuoooo recently beat The Simpsons: Bart's Nightmare in 16 minutes and 3 seconds, a new world record. I never finished the game as a kid, because I never got Bartzilla to finish scaling the skyscraper. While folks across the world chase high-profile Mario and Metroid records, I love that strange, old SNES games that have yet to get ported to Switch Online are still fired up. (Or less romantically, played on an emulator.)
BREAKING: Someone just registered a new speedrun record for this game, too:
At the beginning of the pandemic, I got pulled into the world of speedrunning via the fantastic videos of Summoning Salt. I’m not a gamer on that level myself, but these are my favorite things to watch on an exercise bike at the gym. I find it’s the thing that most distracts me from remembering that I’m on an exercise bike at the gym. Maybe we’ll dive into the appeal of purist speedruns in a future newsletter.
So glad that they put a picture of Alan Rickman on the packaging so you can see how much the actual figurine does not look like Alan Rickman.